You Haven't Lived Until You've Received Government Cheese
Once upon a time, there was a girl and a boy and they fell in love. They got married at the Justice of the Peace because they couldn't afford a wedding. He was a low ranking airman in the Air Force and she, well, was cute. Once when a salesman called to make an appointment to sell them stuff they couldn't afford, she realized they had no furniture for the salesman. So the boy donated plasma to buy three folding chairs. Then the salesman showed up for his appointment . . . and brought an associate. Well, three out of four got to sit in a chair.
She worked a little here and there, but when they decided to start their brood of young-uns, they realized that they didn't have any money. But having babies was the one thing they could afford to do in the military. It was feeding them that wasn't so cheap. So they discovered WIC and government cheese. And it was good cheese - Velveeta-ish (or maybe it was hard cheddar but had been sitting out too long.) And they got orange juice concentrate. And baby formula. Lots of baby formula. And they even qualified for food stamps. But the girl/mommy and the boy/daddy decided they still had a tiny bit of pride left and opted to go without. But it gave them something to laugh about. The babies didn't starve. They grew fat and happy but ran it all off once they started to walk.
The girl and boy grew older and continued to provide for their babies. The babies grew big. The boy and the babies were the center of the girl's life. She loved them more than any amount of orange juice concentrate. And things got better. Soon they could afford to pay for real Velveeta. And everyone was happy.
The End.
PS: They still have those three folding chairs.
She worked a little here and there, but when they decided to start their brood of young-uns, they realized that they didn't have any money. But having babies was the one thing they could afford to do in the military. It was feeding them that wasn't so cheap. So they discovered WIC and government cheese. And it was good cheese - Velveeta-ish (or maybe it was hard cheddar but had been sitting out too long.) And they got orange juice concentrate. And baby formula. Lots of baby formula. And they even qualified for food stamps. But the girl/mommy and the boy/daddy decided they still had a tiny bit of pride left and opted to go without. But it gave them something to laugh about. The babies didn't starve. They grew fat and happy but ran it all off once they started to walk.
The girl and boy grew older and continued to provide for their babies. The babies grew big. The boy and the babies were the center of the girl's life. She loved them more than any amount of orange juice concentrate. And things got better. Soon they could afford to pay for real Velveeta. And everyone was happy.
The End.
PS: They still have those three folding chairs.
3 comments:
You forgot this part: "And with ear plugs, they lived happily ever after."
See, I didn't mention Ron's hair plugs, just the ear plugs. You're welcome, Ron!
Ahhhhhhhhh, those character-building years.
I (almost) feel guilty for my trip to Spokane circa 1987-88. I remember the tequila flowing. Maybe we should have bought another folding chair instead??? ;)
Post a Comment